Busyness

A friend of mine asked me to pray for her as Holy Week looms.  This is quite understandable: Holy Week is one of those times when clergy are at their busiest, perhaps equally if not more than Christmas.  But my initial response (not outwardly) surprised me.  Why?  Why are you so busy?  And why should I pray to help this?  We put so much pressure on ourselves then hope/ pray that God will get us through it.  We do so much to sustain these patterns of worship - but does it help put food on the plates of the poor or shelter for the homeless?  I spent so much of my 5 years in paid ministry running myself ragged serving the churches, telling and retelling the stories of the Gospel and the Bible; my whole life it seems has been spent bringing the words of the Bible to life and sharing it with as many who would hear it.

But what does the Gospel mean when there is still so much need in the world?  So much injustice?  I ran myself ragged at my last paid ministry role every single Sunday trying to work under a mass of expectations of who I am and meant to be, what church is and should be, and how it's Good News.  Really?  It wasn't Good News for those people whose lives were being destroyed by the inequalities in society that Jesus himself spoke out against.  And yet we do nothing.  We carry on making a life for ourselves and a career talking about hope and good news.  We ask for more money to do this, and maintain ancient churches which can't be altered because of their "historic value".  It makes me angry.  I work in a field where I see brokenness on a daily basis.  People with no faith are actually asking for the help of churches - people need that sense of community that has somehow been lost.  Are we ready to meet them?  Are we in a fit state to receive them?  Or are we becoming too preoccupied with the status quo, with the structure of what church is or isn't?  Maintaining form and tradition but forgetting the point of it all?  I like God right now but I'm not sure what to do about Him or His "bride".  I pray when I can - when friends are struggling with life issues, when my clients are wrestling with massive anxiety, when parents don't seem to get it. I pray to say thanks too. But the Church could be obsolete soon unless we get back to what matters: what put us on the map (the good stuff I mean).  Some churches do so well partnering with their community.  I envy that.  I applaud it.  But we have a long way to go.  It's an existential crisis, both mine and yours.  Which is why I struggle with praying to appease busyness right now.

I plucked up the courage to share this with my friend and she responded more positively than I expected.  "There are so many things that I'm sure we're not getting right in the Church.  This Holy Week, though, I'd still like to be wrapped around by the mystery and I think the C of E does that quite well..."  The mystery.  This is true.  There is a mystery to it all.  And a wonder, grotesque though it may be that humanity could (and still does) inflict such awful terrors on itself and call it "justice".  And God, who oversees this, calls out "ENOUGH! It is finished!"  So I am praying for her.  And everyone else caught up in the busyness of this season.  May lives be transformed because and in spite of it.  You crazy people.  Bless you all.